#i am in shambles do you know this
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found an old screenshot of my first impressions of yuma
#i am in shambles do you know this#im so fucking broken#how could i play myself like that. the clown makeup is permanent#do yall know how much i genuinely hated his ass at first#like the mere sight of him pissed me off#im booboo the fool. im done for.#rain code#mdarc
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do yall ever think about bruce/batman!clone danny standing in front of his bathroom mirror after finding out he was a clone and silently tracing his face. The slope of his jaw and point of his chin. The high angle of his cheekbones and the shape of his eyes, the curve of his brow bones and the shape of his nose. The volume of his hair and the way it curls and gets fluffy when it gets too long.
His hair is black the same way a crow's wing is black. His dad's hair is black the same way a black bear's fur is black. His dad's eyes are blue like the ocean is blue. Danny's eyes are blue the same way a glacier is blue.
His dad has a square jaw and straight flat hair, and he tans and gets a face full of freckles when he's out in the sun for too long. Danny burns like a lobster and his face remains untouched. Danny has a sharp jaw and tall cheekbones, and Sam says when he's not smiling there's almost something regal about him. You would never call Jack Fenton "regal" when he's not smiling.
Sam says when he's not smiling he looks scary the same way a stone statue is. Jack Fenton when he's not smiling looks scary the same way that german shepherd staring at you across the street is.
Do you ever think he grew up wondering if he was adopted. Because of course, he has black hair and blue eyes like his dad. But having the same color doesn't make you someone's child.
Or, worse, things he's heard from the other kids and the other parents and even some of his teachers growing up; that he was the product of an affair. And that his dad was just too stupid to notice. And Danny would defend his parents until the day he died, because Jack Fenton wasn't an idiot and Maddie Fenton wasn't a cheater.
But doubt comes in with fickle tongue. his parents swear up and down that he is their child when he asks about either. That Danny just had his grandparents' features, but he was their son and they loved him.
But Danny doesn't look like either of his parents. His mom's eyes are blue like an aquamarine and Jazz's too. And they burn like lobsters in the sun too, but Jazz gets freckles on her face and so does Maddie. And as Danny grows up he doesn't bulk up or get stocky like his dad did, and when he hits puberty he doesn't shoot up like a tree like Jack Fenton did.
He stays small, and they say he's a late bloomer (and he is), or that he just has his mom's height. But he's fast and has good stamina, and some days it feels like he's built entirely different from his family. That the things they went through growing up just didn't apply to him. Jack and Maddie Fenton both had acne and breakouts when they hit puberty, and Jazz inherits it and he's seen the amount of skincare products she keeps on her side of the bathroom.
And then he hits puberty and breaks out maybe once or twice, but his skin stays clear for the most part and the problems and changes his dad went through just don't happen to him.
And the truth is worse than all of the lies.
How horrifying.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc#danny fenton is a clone#clone danny fenton#clone danny#thinking about the inherent trauma that comes with growing up as a clone and not knowing and questioning everything about yourself#thinking about the amount of effort and lying that Jack and Maddie would've had to to do if they wanted to pass Danny off as their bio son#the MEDICAL RECORDS#danny's medical history is completely different from theirs. any generational health problems the waynes have would/could be passed down to#danny and he's completely oblivious to it up until the reveal. he'd have no idea about any medical risks until they hit him before that.#so many little things and inconsistencies that would just build and build and build until it finally came to a head and the truth came out#forever and ever and ever fascinated by the underlying horror of being a clone. there's a horror in being cloned but there's also a horror#in BEING a clone. like yes he could've always known from the start and that comes with its own set of issues BUT. just. him not knowing#for the longest time. the lies and deceit and betrayal. you know how adopted kids come out and talk about how they didn't know they were#adopted for the longest time and how traumatizing and betrayed they felt when they're finally told 15-20 years down the line? yeah that#i imagine finding out you're a clone is a lot like that.#i read a book in middle school once abt a girl moving to a new town with her family and getting these horrible nightmares and noticing how#everyone was acting strange around her. one of her nightmares was about the 30yo police officer being a shambling corpse talking to her#and at the end of the book she finds out she's actually the clone of a dead older sister and the police officer was her sister's boyfriend.#and she was in gymnastics but quit and her parents were so disappointed bc the og sister was a champion/award winning gymnastics player#and i never did finish the book but god am i reminded of that.#i love reading the dpxdc clone danny posts and they usually have him brush off being a clone which is literally totally fine but duUUDE#just imagine his own horror over it. its SOOO good
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How ... did I not know ... that Derek can admit that he likes you when he asks about the marriage pact.
#derek suarez#because i've always gotten the option of him saying all this without the “i like you a lot too”'#i am in shambles#edit: i do know that when you ask him about it he says “of course i like you”#but this one is if you tell him directly that yes you know the kind of liking he's talking about and yes you like him#and it feels more direct and thats all bye
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so there's a reason my new job got back to me so quickly about my application and that's bc it's an absolute fucking shambles like actually perfect timing for me to decide to rewatch the bear bc i have never more felt like ive been thrown into a broke on-its-knees establishment trying to crawl its way up the ladder where i am somehow a godsend to them. my old job was crazy and shambolic in the sense that the industry is just Like That but this one?????? insanity. every 5 mins i am questioning what im doing with my life. ive already had a walk-in fridge moment
#so i explained before that there's 3 venues and on my very first shift they had me doing the restaurant venue for 2 hours#which was FINE like i was a bit cautious bc my manager is VERY stressed all the time and the place generally feels like it's falling apart#not the building itself just. the way it's run like it's just got new owners and the previous manager apparently#EMPTIED THE TILLS AND TRASHED THE PLACE like cost them THOUSANDS of pounds and on top of that#there was beef with the head chef and the new owners that meant he left and took the ENTIRE BACK OF HOUSE WITH HIM#THERE ARE NO KITCHEN STAFF ATM. I HAVE TO LIE AND TELL CUSTOMERS WE DONT HAVE FOOD ATM BC OF 'REFURBISHMENT'#WHEN IN ACTUALITY THE /RESTAURANT/ DOESNT HAVE CHEFS. DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT IS#and then the front of house staff are very lacking aside maybe 2 people we're ALL NEW and all of them EXCEPT ME#LIKE LITERALLY JUST ME IM THE ONLY EXCEPTION. ALL OF THEM ARE UNTRAINED#so when i applied with bar training coffee training and very solid waitressing skills they genuinely treated me like a saviour#like i am FENDING off shifts tbh im in a v good position bc they need me too much to get shitty w me if i refuse hours but i can literally#have as many as i want bc they will just give me them. like they're obsessed w me im rota'd for over 60 hours this week#but anyway that very first shift after 2 hours in the restaurant i then walked to the mini golf venue on the OTHER SIDE OF TOWN#and my manager stayed for 30 MINUTES. IF THAT. and showed me around the place + how to close THEN LEFT ME THERE#FIRST DAY HE GAVE ME THE KEYS AND LEFT ME TO RUN AN ENTIRE VENUE. IT'S NOT SMALL EITHER IT'S A WHOLE BAR#AND I HAD TO CLOSE ON MY OWN TOO and ironically the shift itself went rlly well like it was so chill#it was kinda boring but honestly i kinda rated it it's v easy money and the close went perfectly nothing cropped up that i was unsure about#and then. AND THEN. i havent even ranted to my mutuals about this yet bc i was acc so horrified by it but i locked the front doors#and went to lock the gate AND THE KEY GOT STUCK IN THE LOCK. WOULD NOT COME OUT. HELLA VS KEYS ROUND 3927593#my mum even showed up and tried to help me wrestle this thing out i called my manager and he literally told me to just snap it#bc he'd rather a snapped key that NO ONE could get out than just leave it there overnight but bc of my recent house key moment#i was like AM I FUCK SNAPPING THIS KEY. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING. so i had to just leave it and at the time#i was realllyyyyyyyyyy beating myself up but my manager is actually rlly nice he's just stretched v thin#and ive also had time to be like uhh actually they shouldnt have left a random 21 y/o girl alone with the keys on her first day#omg i havent even talked about what happened on saturday. ACTUAL SHAMBLES#LIKE THIS /\/\ ISNT EVEN CLOSE TO EVERYTHING! IM RUNNING OUT OF TAG ROOM! IM GONNA REBLOG THIS TONIGHT W MORE PROBABLY!#BC GUESS WHO IS WORKING A CLOSE LATER AT THE NIGHTCLUB THEN OPENING THE RESTAURANT AT 8AM. GUESS#hella slaves to capitalism
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the punk to capitalist pipeline is kinda insane and makes no sense to me
and yet that is what mcr (and many others who aren't famous) have done
#my chemical romance#mcr#the way in which the band has done fuck all to make ticket prices reasonable is insane#other bands have fixed the issue with ticketmaster#they are perfectly capable of it#but no#instead they're celebrating because scalpers have sold them out#which means fuck all if half of the audience is not fans#I cannot stress enough for people to Not Buy A Ticket If It's Overpriced#I understand you desperately want to see them#but they are actively abusing you right now#when the economy is in shambles too#it's downright predatory what's happening#I wish I knew how to check voting records in the usa because I am starting to have some serious doubts about mr Toro and mr Way#tbh both mr Ways are on my enemy list#we all know Frank is simply an idiot at the core#literally blinded by his obsession for mcr#but at least he technically still has the brain to be decent#it probably helps that he hangs out with so many people who are significantly less successful#and that he's in ls dunes which is comparatively tiny#anyway remember what pete wentz said y'all:#Do Your Part to Save the Scene and Stop Going to Shows#mcr will not understand wtf they are doing unless we make it very fucking clear by Not Going To Their Nostalgia Tour#by spitting in their face and yelling “Fuck You!!!”#Gerard Way is all words and no actions#I don't know why people look up to him
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Hsr 2.2 Quest Spoilers
Starting AND ending the 2.2 quest with Boothill pointing out his gun...
Acheron asking those 3 questions to the Trailblazer on their first meeting (with multiple dialogue choices to answer) and before their farewell (leaving only 1 dialogue choice to show the Trailblazer's final answer)...
Aventurine being the last few people seen on the end of the 2.0 quest and the current 2.2 quest...
Misha and his memories/aspirations being the "Watchmaker's Legacy" that the Trailblazer encountered right when they first step foot on Penacony and the Dreamscape...
Mikhail and his ordeal with "going around in a circle" (if I remember correctly)...
WE HAVE COME FULL CIRCLE GUYS
#they know what they're doing#Shaoji when I get you Shaoji#I think there is more to point out with the thing coming in full circle than what is mentioned here#i am impressed#I am in shambles just thinking about this#AraSeraRamblings#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr spoilers#honkai star rail spoilers#honkai star rail 2.2 spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#hsr aventurine#hsr acheron#hsr misha#hsr mikhail#hsr boothill
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heyyyyyyy so in the malnourished fwhip explanation post you said you'd get back to the thing about gem and fwhip not liking that they got first pick during the famine and i fully agree with you. if it also you said you'd get back to it and you didn't and you're good at articulating things so I would like to hear you elaborate if you are willing
OH yeah. i had planned to get into that in the section where i talked about fwhip continuing to use the corrupted fertilizer because it works so well that it means his people are fed, but i didn’t elaborate much further than that. so i shall now!
(context for this can be found here, in case you missed that post!)
so as i said previously, when famine strikes the grimlands and the royal family have their food needs prioritized, this is something that fwhip and gem, despite both being very young, find awful. i think both of these kids have very strong senses of justice (cough because they’re both autistic cough), gem especially, since she’s the one being trained to be the next countess, so she’s a lot more worldly than fwhip at that point. fwhip is approaching this from a basic fairness standpoint- everyone needs to eat, it’s not fair that he and his family get priority. gem is approaching this based on her experience in other empires and her conversations with other to be emperors- this is not how a good ruler treats their people, a good ruler tries to put their people first always.
i think this manifests in a variety of different ways when they get older. for fwhip, this manifests in putting his people’s food needs above his own when it comes to the corrupted fertilizer. if the fertilizer was giving everybody else nightmares, he would’ve heard about it by now, so clearly it’s just him. that means the fertilizer is a net good, so it stays. i think fwhip is a weird and very distant ruler, one who thinks of himself as a little too equal with his people, and that can be good and bad. something like this, where he puts the people’s need for food above his own wants is (for everyone else) good, but it also means he doesn’t really register how much more important his actions are than anyone else’s. for someone else in the grimlands (or even for fwhip just a few years ago, when he was still the kid brother to the rising countess), blowing up your friend’s house might get you in trouble, but it’s not a big deal. for modern day fwhip, it’s literally an act of war. “peace is boring” is a very frightening attitude for a ruler to hold, and he holds it because he wasn’t properly trained to be count, he’s still very young, and he views himself and his people as pretty much the same when, unfortunately, they just aren’t.
for gem, i think what this does for her behavior doesn’t manifest for her a while. she ran away from the grimlands because she wanted to be a wizard, she wanted to be anything but countess, and i think she did fundamentally believe fwhip would do better than she could. so she becomes a wizard in a very insulated community, and then her instructor disappears and leaves the entire place in her care, and that freaks her out. yes, she was trained to have far greater responsibilities than this, there aren’t even any students for her to train yet, but being in charge scares her still. she so desperately wants to be a good ruler, a better one than anyone in her family line has been for a while, because she’s been up close and personal with bad ones. and i think for gem specifically that manifests in her wanting to be a just ruler. very few people are ever fully beyond redemption for gem. her pillager students just need to put their weapons down, and then they’re ready to learn! see, they weren’t really evil, just angry and armed. sausage has good left in him, even at his worst, she knows it. she just needs to draw it out of him, at any cost. scott didn’t mean to hurt her, he was just scared and she pushed him too far, that’s on her. i think the only person she sees as truly, 100% beyond redemption, who she never really changes her tune on, is xornoth. even the other emperors she isn’t a fan of i don’t think she thinks are irredeemably evil, they’re just assholes and she’s gonna be an asshole back (or she’s gonna let the other WRA members do it). (the only outlier to that is maybe joey. at some point after he gets the crown from xornoth, somebody says he’s most likely beyond saving, and that somebody might be gem but i can’t remember. if it is, i think she had simply run out of energy for second chances for him, and he’s not her responsibility anyways, so she feels less bad about doing it to him than say, a student of hers. if she isn’t the one who says that, disregard.) she is trying to extend justice, to extend second tries to everyone. arguably she even tries this with xornoth, when she tries to learn more about him when he first shows up, but he also made it very clear he had no intentions of improving, so.
TLDR: i think both roseblings are affronted at the fact that because they are nobility, they are inherently better treated in times of crisis. for fwhip, this is because he thinks it’s unfair, that he’s not inherently better than the people of the grimlands, so it’s unfair for him to be treated as such. for gem, she thinks it’s unjust. a good ruler, a just one, would put their people first. so when they get older, this manifests in a variety of ways. for fwhip, he views himself less as a count and more as just another citizen of the grimlands, a tinkerer with a penchant for explosions and not much more. this means in times of crisis he puts the needs of the many over the needs of the few, but it also means he doesn’t think about how much more weight his actions carry with the other empires than the actions of a regular person. for gem, this manifests as trying to extend justice, a helping hand, a second chance, to everyone she can. even at her detriment, there are very few people she believes are totally beyond saving, and she tries as best she can to save them.
#empires smp#empires s1#fwhip#geminitay#i will say i am much more familiar with fwhip’s character#as i still haven’t watched gem’s pov in full#but i do feel good about both of these points#that tldr is also pretty long sorry about that lol#my writing#also ty for saying i’m good at articulating things teehee#oh i will also note. yes gem does just leave her students unsupervised at the end of her season#i genuinely don’t think this is any sort of malice on her end i think she thinks that’s totally fine#because that’s exactly what HER mentor did (when he TURNED INTO A CAT AND DIDNT TELL HER) so like. she was fine they’ll be fine clearly#like yes her empire is in shambles but gandalf can deal with it! it’s fine!#ok i am extrapolating the stuff about gandalf i think#i don’t remember if that’s actually canon or not#i know he is a transmutated wizard who retired as a cat i can’t remember if he was in charge when she showed up#but you get the idea#this whole post is extrapolation and headcanon that’s what you’re here for#i think you can let me have this#my art
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imagine being in Orihime’s friend group, and one day you see her video with B.A.S. by Megan Thee Stallion playing and “guess who just confessed to being gay and in love with their best friend at the same time after 3 years of dating” as the caption. #highschoolsweethearts in the hashtags for sure. the video itself is just them both screaming “fuck it, guess we both ain’t shit!”, and then taking turns dancing to the “he lyin’ to me, and I’m lyin’ to him”.
#bleach#kurosaki ichigo#inoue orihime#ichihime#grimmichi#orihime x tatsuki#I can imagine the chaos in the groupchat after that cause NO ONE was informed of this development#Orihime had to sell her soul to convince Ichigo to do this with her#he looks very emotionless in the dancing part but you can tell he’s enjoying himself#once again I am in shambles over not knowing how to fucking draw#I gotta do something about that
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Subbing special ed at the middle school slaps. Every class I've had so far is 2-4 students and when we finish the assignment we play Uno
#cont#the more i sub the more i am confirmed in my opinion that i want to be a middle grade teacher#it might be for all i know significantly influenced by how much my local high school is in shambles#the kids have no fucking discipline and are so disrespectful. they don't even try#theyre incredibly selfish in the way teenagers kinda generally are bent to#but the particular system of that school is hopeless. it doesn't make them think of others#they just wanna come to school. do the bare minimum. leave#and i get it. it's a bad school#it's a bad combination of formative years and a failing system#the middle school has a number of issues for certain too but the kids are so much more malleable#they respect authority more. i know that sounds so like conservative but it's not#it's like when i give them instructions or advice they actually consider it rather than taking the quickest way out of it#and they're at such a precious age. it's why some ppl hate this age level but i love it#they really can become anything still but they're getting more curious by the day#when you see occasional callousness or disrespect it's not so confirmed in them yet#and most of all they like to play uno and it's a lot of fun for me
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#supposed to log good things#most of day was negative feelings and sadness#then. i remember feeling good#and then. tthe good went away#rreplaxed with the usual self doubt and loathing#the feelings of undesirability#the wish that i was. attractive in any way to anyone close to me that anyone wanted to. touch me#that i wasn't horrifically gross and disgusting#do the people who hold me do it out of pity? am i really so awful#pictures get a lot of praise#sometimes#less so lately#maybe the novelty of my personality has worn off#maybe seeing how broken i am#such a shambling wailing mess of a girl#....has made people realize how ugly i am#i don't know. its hard to care most nights#I'm supposed to feel better in the mornings#i don't usually#I used to#now i just feel..... dead inside#like a walking corpse#some part of me wants to make that reality#sigh.#anyway.#im sorry you had to read this whoever you are that's made it this far#it's a cry for help but my discord status says don't message me so it's. probably not gonna get much lol#.....i guess uh. if you've read this far and do want to say something you can take this tag in particular as a one time pass to do so#....i make no guarentees I'll respond but i will guarentee that i won't kill myself. at least not tonight or even any time this week
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this one pairing's tag is in shambles. surely me and my 184402384 wip's will be strong enough to save it
#hubris#but im telling yall#i will fix it#i cannot do it on my own and i am sucking other people down with me but alas#at least im having a good time#u win a kiss on the cheek if you can guess what pairing#krispy and noelle this doesnt count for u bc u already know the shambles in question#ill give ONE hint#its a#pjo#ship#as if that narrows it down at all LMAO
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goodbye my schmoopy poopy doopy bear
#i am slightly actually in shambles#i don't know when i grew a connection to him#but now that he's been traded it makes me very sad#brandon my pookie bear i will miss you endlessly#but i hope you have a really great time in colorado#thank you for being 1/2 of the deweys#no one else could do it like you#love willa aka the biggest brandon duhaime fan in the state of mn#brandon duhaime#minnesota wild
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my son he turned 2 today :)
#destiny oc#🐍art#destiny the game#destiny 2#my xbox broke and i haven't been able to play the entire month do you know how in shambles i am#🐍oc:xehn
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messy sketch but. them. :)
@hibernationsuit — 💕💖💕💖🥺💖💕💖💕
HELLOOO??? I AM SQUEALING!! LOOK AT THEM!!!! I am on the floor sobbing rn hello my friend I love you with my whole heart!!!!!!!!
#EVERYONE IS LEGALLY REQUIRED TO LOOK AT THIS#HOW DO I WORDS I HAVE NO WORDS#I am beaming so many heart and sparkle emojis directly into your mind rn like hello!!!!#you made this FOR MEEE????#sobbing what did I do to deserve this kindness ily ilysm thank you I am going to stare at this literally all day long#holding them so gently in my hands looking at them w tear filled eyes#words are hard but know I literally have the biggest cheesiest grin ever on my face rn I'm so surprised and delighted!!!!!!!#I love them I love them sm!! look at them!!!!!!! hello!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#you are literally such a treasure this has brightened my day so much I'm so serious ohmygosh thank you fr I'm so aaaaaaaaaaa#THEY'RE JUST SO CUUUUUTE#PICTURES TAKEN MOMENTS BEFORE A DIVINE FEAST#looking so respectfully#I'm incapable of shutting up rn I am truly incapable I can never stop screaming abt this this is my favorite thing ever rn#ur so good to me how do I ever thank you enough for being so lovely and wonderful every day????#blowing you so many kisses rn so so much love to you so so much goodness to you now and always#okay okay I need to stop writing tags but the love in my heart is ongoing rn I am in SHAMBLES!!!!!#friend art#faith and max#captain of the unreliable#literally on my hands and knees rn#banging my fists on the table#I'M IN LOVE IMMMM IMMMM (getting restrained and pulled away so I stop screaming my heart out)
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with no exaggeration being hyper empathetic is one of the worst things to happen to me
#yes its 2 am just let me ramble#I hate it so much#thinking about people I don’t know and relatives I’ll never meet being sad feels like being stabbed#like it physically hurts to think about#and when my friend goes through a hard time I will get extremely depressed and anxious#and it’s not just people I’m close with it’s Everyone#if some random person in a YouTube comment section says they are sad then I Am Sad now#empathy is supposed to be some beautiful thing but it’s making me depressed#and I can’t just tell myself that I’ll never meet these people or whatever because then I feel like I’m not doing enough#I know that crying over the fact that a relative I’ve never met had mental problems decades ago#isnt going to help in any way#but if I don’t care I’m a terrible person#the one time I put myself first I felt horrible about it#everything is my fault and my responsibility to fix and everyone’s pain is my pain and uuuuuuuughh#it’s never about me even when my mental health is in shambles#I need to make sure everyone else is ok or else I won’t be#and when I can’t fix things for people I feel the worst sense of dread you can imagine#can’t put words to it. it feels like I’m dying. everything is hopeless and I’m in pain and can’t stop crying and blah blah blah#and then I feel guilty because it’s not my problem why am I so upset? I’m just making everything about myself I have no reason to be crying#which makes me cry harder#aaaaaaiiim so tired ill be ok in the morning probably
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everyone on tumblr seems to have hated how the umbrella academy ended lmao i thought it was better than s3
#plant rant#don’t read this next tag if you don’t want a spoiler#why is everyone so upset about five being a homewrecker. give the guy a break. what’s a bit of homewrecking among friends#also much as i would have liked to see a bit more character stuff because i am a character guy at heart#a 6 episode series to claw it back from the shambles of the series before and make an even slightly satisfying ending (imo)#was probablt the main thing they were going for#mainly i was just happy the pacing was fixed. it wasn’t boring#but what do i know i’m just a humble viewer 😃
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